Sugar Free Diet

Sugar Free Diet

 

Corn syrup, trans-fat--

What the hell is up with that?

What is the point of sugar free ice cream?

I would rather have the real thing.

 

What the hell is up with that?

Size six being the new fourteen?

I would rather have the real thing.

Beauty magazines don’t know shit about self-esteem.

                 

Size six is the new fourteen?

Straight As, politics, curing kids from disease,

Beauty magazines don’t know shit about self-esteem

Buy boobs, suck out fat, you’re not perfect yet.

 

Straight As, politics, curing kids from disease,

Why is it important that I eat sugar free ice cream?

Buy boobs, suck out fat, you’re not perfect yet,

Perfect enough for that man, who wouldn’t give a shit if you tanned.

 

Why is it important that I eat sugar free ice cream?

Can’t let the pain and anguish show, of perfecting perfection.

Perfect enough for that man, who wouldn’t give a shit if you tanned.

You can get through life without riot, just stick to your sugar free diet.

Dark Path

Dark Path

 

She grips onto the cold, steel bars

Reaching for freedom tastes so bitter

Like a cold winter sun that looks so warm and inviting

It nips at your skin the minute you step outside

She reaches for the bottom in a bottomless pit

Too stubborn to give up

Too frustrated to go on

She knows the shore is near

It keeps moving so far

Treading through rough seas

Tripping through treacherous roads

Darkness is all she sees

Hope is too dangerous to long for

Turqoise Sun

A golden sphere that bursts with laughter

Designer beige that soaks with turquoise

Flocks of feathers that soar like wind

Grains of dust that tickle like kisses on my feet

 

A bay of stones carry life and leisure

Like a stage of creation

Clappity clap on eight red legs

The fascination of a life so small

 

Diamonds shimmer in the night

The lunar light with eyes to sea

Roaring thunder invades the shore

Though night is clear with a steady drumbeat

 

A citrus morning welcomes me home

Plate filled with gold like the sun

Maple arousing hunger and desire

A steady drumbeat lingers

Her

Thirteen Ways to Describe Her

 

I.

A smile, a laugh

Cheeks chubby like marshmallows

This is her when she’s happy.

 

II.

A melody echoes

A joke that knocks

This is her when she’s silly.

 

III.

Gale force winds

A down pour rain

This is her when she’s grumpy.

 

IV.

A crash and a rumble

Excitement in her screech

This is her when she’s having fun.

 

V.

Pink and frilly

Tippy toes and tiaras

This is her as a ballerina.

 

VI.

Lost and lonely

A stuffed friend not found

This is her sad.

 

VII.

A sweet one

A sweet heart

This is her when she’s sweet.

 

VIII.

Blush and eye shadow

A fear to be had

This is her growing up.

 

IX.

Feisty and strong

Outspoken and loud

This is her strength.

 

X.

Rolling like the sea

Her soft whispers come to a silence

This is her sleeping.

 

XI.

Small arms stretch

A big heart swells

This is her when she hugs me.

 

XII.

Ready or not

Here she comes

This is her and her sister

 

XIII

I heart you

You heart me

This is her loved by her mommy.

Love's Open Door

Revised:
Grandfather Stranger
I was sixteen when my mom kicked me out of the house.  Actually, she threw me out of the house and called me a sinner and an abomination.  I thought that being pregnant would be something we could overcome after the baby was born and adopted out.  I thought because I did the right thing, giving the baby up to a couple who would better care for her, she would forgive me of my wrong-doing and things would get back to normal.
                It was only in a matter of days before she made arrangements for me to go live with my grandfather. 
                “I don’t want to hear of her getting pregnant again or else I’m shipping her off to an all-girls school and getting her legs sewn shut,” my mom says to my grandfather.
 “How are her grades?”
 He asks abruptly.
 My mom sits there, stoned faced as she searches for an answer.
 “Terrible,” she lies. “She failed all her classes last semester.”
 “That’s not true!” I retort.
 “That’s not hard to believe,” My grandfather states.  “How can anyone expect a pregnant teenager to keep up with her studies?”
 I am outraged.
 “Mom, I kept up with my school work just fine, and given the fact that the baby didn’t come until after school was out, it was quite easy for me to keep up with my school work.”
 “Quiet!” She shouts. “Grown-ups are talking.”
 My mom hardly pays attention to the good student that I am.  I made a mistake, sure.  I lost my virginity to my boyfriend which turned out to be the first time I get knocked up.  How was I supposed to know the proper way to put on a condom?  Using a puppet to help us explain how to put a condom on a banana isn’t very resourceful if you’re laughing at it the whole time.  Especially when Bobby Jenkins, the class clown, stands up and asks how the hell a banana can get someone pregnant in the first place.  It completely threw the entire lesson out the window. 
 “I will check on her studies and see to it that she stays on top of it.”
 My grandfather is from my dad’s side.  I had never met him before and I knew very little of my dad before he died.  For days now my mom has been telling me how strict he is.  My mom gets a thrill out of sensationalizing everything.  I didn’t know how much of it is true, but by looking at my grandfather, I feel a little intimidated.  His stone-silence as he sits there at the kitchen table was enough to set the entire house on edge.
                He’s dressed in his thousand dollar, tailored suit, expensive watch, and standing near him is a middle aged woman with red hair in a suit who looks like she might be his assistant.  He doesn’t fit into the family at all.  He is way out of our league.  It makes me curious about my dad, about what kind of family he came from, and why I never met my grandfather or anyone from his side of the family. 
               
            “It’s about time I did something right by that child.”  I hear mom mutter to herself.
                “With all due respect, madam, but if you had done right by her a long time ago, she would not have gotten in this mess in the first place.”
                My mom looks at him appalled.  Her dagger eyes shoot at him.  For the first time in a long while I’m feeling a bit relieved.  Maybe going with my grandfather won’t be such a bad idea after all.
                A jingle of a cell phone comes from his assistant.  She’s on the phone for a moment, nodding and saying yes and no, then all of a sudden she whispers in my grandfather’s ear about something.
              “Are we done here?” He says.  “I need to get back to New York.”
 My mother nods quickly, nervous and looking extremely uncomfortable.
                He gestures towards me.
                “Say your good byes, young lady.”
                The way he speaks to me makes my heart drop to my stomach.  Although I am used to the coldness of my mother’s tone, yelling and screaming at me, calling me horrid names and even slapping me a few times, I never felt more terrified than I did when my grandfather gives his orders.  I think he hates me already.
                I push back a strand of my chocolate colored hair behind my ear and pick up my suitcase.  All I was bringing with me was my clothes and a few books.  My mom threw away all my music, all my posters, and any photo I had of my boyfriend.  She said anything influencing me to have sex again is nothing but sin trying to call me to hell.
                I am having mixed feelings about going with my grandfather.  I feel liberated from my mother at last, but at the same time I’m scared of being stuck with Mr. Scrooge.
              

                Grandfather had a nice, fancy car waiting for us in the drive way, and a chauffeur opening the door and waiting for us to get in.  He takes my bags and puts them in the trunk.  I look around my old neighborhood to see neighbors coming out to see what all the excitement is about.  There haven’t been very many sleek black cars driving around in Milton Freewater, Missouri.
                The car pulls away and in my yard I see my little brother and sister standing near a kiddie pool and waving good bye to me.  My mom didn’t even come out with me to hug me, she just stands behind the screen door, arms crossed and her lips scrunched up as I pull away.  The pain struck at my heart.  Does she even care that she may not see me again? 
 The car drives through my neighborhood and as we pass by Eric’s house, my boyfriend, I spot him sitting on the porch, hunched over.  His gaze catches the car as it drives past and he springs to his feet, running after the car is it drives on.  I wave at him.  I’m not sure if he can see me through the dark tinted windows, but my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach the moment we turn the corner and he fades into a small figure on the corner of my street.
 Three Days Ago…
 I hear a soft tapping on the window as I lay on my bed, listening to Billy Joel.  I crawl over to the window and see Eric standing there.  I brace the window open.  He’s wearing our high school letterman’s sweater he earned from swimming.  He always looks so cute with his blonde locks and blue eyes.  I still can’t believe he is even interested in me.  I thought for sure having sex with him would be all he wanted out of me, but he stuck by me through the pregnancy and the adoption process.  My heart swells with love for him as I beam at him in the moonlight.
 “What are you doing here?” I say. “You know my mom will kill you if she sees you here.”
 “I heard rumors that you were leaving.”
 “Who told you that?”
 “Jessica told me.  Is it true?”
 I nod.
 “I leave on Friday.”
 “Why didn’t you tell me?”
 “I thought it would be easier.”
 “Easier?  Easier to ditch me.”
 “Eric don’t start, okay?  I’m not ditching you.  My mom is sending me away.  I have no choice.”
 “Run away with me.  We can go to St. Louis, get jobs and our own place.”
 “Yeah, and my mom would send the cops out after us.”
 There’s a moment of silence.  Billy Joel still plays muffled over my ear buds.  Eric stops to hear the song.  “Just the Way You Are” is playing and he smiles at the lyrics he strains to hear.
 “I remember that song,” he says. 
 It’s the song we “did it” to.  It wasn’t on purpose or planned.  It just started playing on my laptop when things started heating up.
 There’s a somber look on Eric’s face as he listens.  My stomach and my heart are swelling up and I can’t feel the lump in my throat.
 “Will you call me?”  He says.
 “Every day,” I force a smile.
 He stands and gazes at me for a moment.  He reaches for the side of my cheek and lures me in close, kissing me gently on the lips. 
 Present…
He disappears as the car turns on another corner.  Will I ever see him again?  Will I ever see home again?
 “Where are we going?” I say once the car is on its way to the airport.
                “I would have hoped that your mother filled you in on the details of where you’ll be living,” my grandfather says almost irritably as he looks over some paperwork his assistant pulls out of her briefcase for him.
                “She didn’t tell me anything,” I say at once. “She just told me to get out.”
                My lips tremble as I fight hard to keep the tears back.  I never felt so unwanted before in my entire life.  I thought it was just words to my mom.  I thought she was bluffing my entire life, but the fact that she sends me off to live with a grandfather who is practically a stranger to me, shows me she never even gave a shit.  I was just a burden to her.
                “Have you ever heard of New York City?”

A Story Idea

Introduction

Genetically modified organisms is what got this whole damn world in the mess it's in right now. Since the beginning of GMO, human resources have resulted into food options that eventualy limited their mobility, raised obesity, and even increased the rate of depression among human beings. Once everyone began to realize that this food was causing so many health issues, it became clear that they had to stop eating processes foods all together and start growing their own. A majority of humans converted to being strict vegetarians and grew their own gardens. Others, unfortunately, developed a different taste for protein and began eating each other, rather than hunt for animals. They figure the best way to prevent food corporations from gaining profit was to start an organization that allowed cannibalism.

It was a combination of PETA meets Chainsaw massacre, only they didn't violently attack innocent people with chainsaws—not at first. What they did was dissect the people who died of heart disease, diabetes, and what-not, cut away their fat that they fed to their dogs, and eat the rest. What people didn't understand was the the GMO food that was already digested from their new-found resources, was that it continues to mutate if consumed a second time. This started a chain of problems.

Once the mutation started, people could no longer wait for the others to die. It all started with nibbling on their fingers, and eventually their necks. Eventually their bites became deadly and began a stream of zombie-like apacolypse for the human race. The only difference is, no one is undead, they just have a hunger for people living and breathing. And the only people living and breathing who aren't affected by the GMO foods are the vegetarians.

I'm one of the lucky few who haven't been affected, nor will I ever. I'm a hunter—a survivalist. I live off the land and I refuse to buy from the grocery store. And because I have the ability to hunt and gather, I've become stronger, faster, I have developed more endurance than any person who buys their food, and my attention span is better. Since the cannibals began eating all the vegetarians, there has been more vegetation for herbivores to eat which leaves more herbivores for carnivorous creatures to eat. The animal population has, in fact, tripled since the beginning of this apocolypse, and what the humans fail to realize is that the more they eat one another, the less of them there will be, which will eventually lead the animal kingdom to completely take over.

Since the apocalypse began, I've uprooted myself and my son from the rural farmlands of Puyallup and into the foothills of the Cascades. We have built a cabin near a creek that provides us with enough water, surrounded by berry bushes, and enough deer and raccoons we can catch and eat. We've managed to live here for the last seven years without much trouble. We have had our run-ins with both the vegetarians and the cannibals. Neither had the human capacity to negotiate. The vegetarians are in the mindset of surviving, while the cannibals are in the mindset of eating. And because they're both still quite human (they simply lack the human capacity to connect with their emotions) killing them would be murder. Because surviving is what I'm an expert at doing, my goal isn't to survive. My goal is to live.

The Art of Tiffany Favrile Glass

                 Louis Comfort Tiffany’s invention of Favrile glass revolutionized decorative art and through it, he made beauty easily obtainable. Responding to J. Alden Weir's toast, at the exhibition, breakfast and masque, Mr. Tiffany made a statement in his address: “Thirteenth Century stained glass makers were great because they saw and reproduced beauty from the skies and stars; the gems and rugs; they translated beauty into the speech of stained glass.” ¹ Louis C. Tiffany had gained a reputation as New York’s most fashionable decorators and it is said that he bridged the gap between 19^th Century eclecticism and modern art.² From 1870 to 1880, there was high demand for decorative art once America reached industrial and commercial expansion.

Having decorative art enhanced the homes of the wealthy and they soon became the tastemakers of the nation. The United States grew a strong dependence on European inspired trends. However, it was brought to attention during the Philadelphia Centennial Exhibition in 1876 that the United States “lacked fine art”. Soon after, wealthy Americans began to purchase more American art, and it is said that it was, “Attributed to the creative artists who were challenged by home decoration as a serious and worthwhile discipline.” Thus the Associated Artists emerged in 1879 and it was created by the partnership of Louis Comfort Tiffany (1848-1933), Samuel Colman (1832-1920), Lockwood de Forest (1850-1932), and Candace Thurber Wheeler (1828-1923).³

As a cadet at Eagleswood Military Academy, Louis C. Tiffany connected with painting instructors George Inness and James Steele MacKay. MacKay assisted in securing individual commissions for Tiffany and introduced him to Oscar Wilde. In his interaction with Wilde, Tiffany became influenced by the British Aesthetic Movement, which transformed decorative arts in America.⁴ His earliest and most recognizable achievement in decorative art was the invention of Favrile glass. His technique of Favrile glass surpasses Venetian and Bohemian glass. In The Source of Beauty in Favrile Glass by James Lee Harvey it states, “The Old World product is eclipsed by this New World claimant of public favor.” ⁵ Favrile glass was a brilliant, iridescent colors Tiffany used to design ornate mosaics, and illuminate the extraordinary colors of glass through natural sunlight and Edison's invention of the light bulb for his lamps. Favrile stems from the technique that a skilled glassworker from England named Arthur Nash used to blend colors together. Tiffany began using his furnace to develop this method to blend the colors into a molten state with subtle shades of texture. Tiffany and Arthur Nash later built a glasshouse in Corona, Queens, New York and with his furnaces developed the method. Recalling the Old English word fabrile (hand-wrought), Tiffany named the blown glass from his furnaces Favrile. The use of Favrile glass provided Tiffany with a signature style.

His technique of Favrile glass art is significant in his piece, “Landscape with a Greek Temple” [figure 1] because of the use of blended colors. This glass art was designed for the Howell Hinds House in 1898 and 1899. Unframed, the size of this stained glass painting is 227.3 x 114.3 in centimeters. Tiffany uses a lot of heavy, dark colors to create the molten state of blended colors in the green textures. Tiffany also uses a technique of opalescent textured glass for “drapery glass” in “Landscape.” He uses opalescent glass to capture the lush, beauty of nature allow this landscape painting of glass to become remarkably descriptive.

 

 

 

Tiffany controls the sunlight through the window by using light pastel colors of blue and yellow for the sky. He’s able to capture the natural sunlight in order to acquire movement within the landscape. He also uses a “confetti glass” in the left portion of the portrait that captivates the pastel color palate that immediately draws the eye. The use of these pastel towards the roses. The light casts upon the staircase that leads into the garden. The heavy textures on the trees help capture the shadow effect from the sunset, creating the illusion of sunlight within the painting. In the far distance, the tip of the greek temple peaks over the horizon to create an exotic feel to the painting. With the inclusion of a Greek Temple, there is a sense of tempering the grandiose exotic and elaborate motifs. Tiffany spent a lot of time traveling in Europe and the inclusion of the Greek Temple could have been inspired by his trip to Europe, but he also captures the essence of that exotic art and beauty that was once desired by American collectors, by including the temple.

Tiffany captures the essence of movement and time in this portrait and presents it as a challenge he was capable of overcoming. One could imagine that as the sun sets through the window itself, the portrait captures the sunset, as well as the sunrise. In designing this piece, Tiffany states, “This invention consists in the combination, in a colored glass window, of a mosaic of opalescent glass with a mosaic of colored glass, the two mosaics of sections being separated by an intervening air-spare, so as to permit of the free passage of the rays of light through one mosaic before it passes to and through the other mosaic."⁶ He does create and design the temple and the pillars suitable to his own time and place to create a soft harmonious atmosphere that is appropriate to family living.

Tiffany's stained glass inspired a sense of harmony and feeling in a room. Stained glass in America up to that time was generally of poor color and quality. Tiffany’s Favrile glass medium raises the level of stained glass art. His aim in creating stained-glass art was to create a “thing of beauty” and to draw attention towards color and light. In early 1879, stained glass windows grew into a popular trend that was often displayed in store windows and apartments. Today, stained glass windows have been installed in Bloomsburg State College and it is said that the presents of Tiffany’s stained-glass windows help create a tranquil affect and changed the attitude of students on campus.⁷ Is the same tranquil affect be captured on a much smaller scale?
It is shown in many of his work over the years that his passion was focused more on the discovery of new art, rather than the application of it. There is no doubt, however, that a majority of Tiffany's works of art are utilitarian.⁸ To class the exquisite pieces into which favrile glass is manufactured with utilitarian products, Tiffany designed and created these two Wisteria Tiffany lamps [figure 2]. Not only was Tiffany a great artist, he had a good mind for business. Which is why it would not be surprising to learn that the creation and design of the Tiffany lamps were inspired by Thomas Edison's invention of the incandescent light bulb in 1879. His invention inspired artists to rethink the lamp design, and Tiffany, “capitalized on his brilliance to illuminate extraordinary colors of glass, mobilizing it and shrinking the stained glass art to smaller scale.” ⁹

Tiffany designed between 1902 and 1918, two table-top Wisteria Tiffany lamps. Sitting at 27 inches and 16 inches, these two lamps display a blended colors created in the Favrile glass technique. The use of “confetti glass” and Tiffany doesn’t use the molten state affect as heavily as he did with the landscape piece. The small branches that curve out from the top of the shade is the only hint of colors that are blended and molten. Like the stained glass window, the lamp shade is put together, piece-by-piece in order to give it more intricate details in the floral design. The opalescent colors are similar in the way they are used in “Landscape with a Greek Temple.” The yellows and the blues are the light pastel colors controls where the light shines through, and creates soft calming hues of purple and blue that project a sense of a calm, tranquil atmosphere. The base of the lamps are ceramic and are designed into very finely detailed tree trunks where the roots of the trees stretch around the base. Tiffany's signature of favrile glass and his use of “drapery” glass makes his lamps more dramatic and captivates movement, as if the floral cascades were moving in a breeze.

Tiffany, and Associated Artists pioneered designs for the industry. Medieval methods were considered inadequate and in some cases out of date, and didn’t really allow room for Tiffany to express the character of his culture. His introduction of American glass art provides that sense of domestic artistry that Americans had so little of during the early twentieth century. Borrowing from the orient, Turkish and Indian sources, he was able to incorporate his innovative technique of Favrile glass and foreign art and turn it in to American glass art. Rather than try to copy a design from European historical styles, Tiffany wanted to adapt and evolve American styles in his attempt to create harmonious decorative art that merged “appropriateness and individuality.”¹⁰

The “Landscape with a Greek Temple” and the “Wisteria Lamps” are just two examples of how Louis C. Tiffany has raised the level of decorative art to a higher level. We could argue that contemporary artists like Chihuly have been able to tame and evolve the vision of glass art, but Tiffany has been able to obtain the beauty of glass art through Favrile glass and it will forever be a treasure of America. Favrile glass was a long stride in progress when Tiffany first began using it, but it would without a doubt remain the most beautiful curiosities of the art industries without the cleverness and perfection of Tiffany.¹¹

1 Louis C. Tiffany, “Art: The Quest of Beauty,” The Lotus Magazine, no. 6, (1916): 286.

2 Stuart P. Feld, "Nature in Her Most Seductive Aspects: Louis Comfort Tiffany's Favrile Glass,” The Metropolitan Museum of Art Bulletin, No. 3 (1962) :112

3 Wilson H. Faude, “Associated Artists and the American Renaissance in the Decorative Arts,” Winterthur Portfolio, Vol. 10 (1975): 101

4 Doreen Bolger Burke, “Louis Comfort Tiffany and His Early Training at Eagleswood, 1862-1865,” American Art Journal, No. 9(1987): 31-32.

5 James L. Harvey, “Source of Beauty in Favrile Glass,” Brush and Pencil, No. 3 (1901): 167

6 Judith Saks, “Tiffany's Household Decoration: A Landscape Window,” The Bulletin of the Cleveland Museum of Art, No. 8 (1976): 233.

7 Brenda Friday, “A Tale of Tiffany Windows,” American Libraries, No. 11 (1981): 673.

8 James L. Harvey, “Source of Beauty in Favrile Glass”, Brush and Pencil, No. 3 (1901): 168.

9 Frances K. Pohl, “Work and Art Redefined: The End of a Century: Art, Architecture, and the World's Columbian Exposition,” Framing America, 3^rd Edition: 310.

10 Wilson H. Faude, “Associated Artists and the American Renaissance in the Decorative Arts,” Winterthur Portfolio, Vol. 10 (1975):102-104

11 James L. Harvey, “Source of Beauty in Favrile Glass,” Brush and Pencil, No. 3 (1901): 168.

Update

Friday

Woke up and saw that I got my financial aid and got a little happy.  Had a morning meeting with work, took down some notes, prepared myself for a busy weekend.  Went to University Bookstore to get my books for school.  I’m excited about taking my classes this quarter.  Rap Culture, Art in the Americas, and Film Studies.  Also taking a business management course that will connect me with organizations around Tacoma. 

Did a little shopping and got some toiletries that were badly needed.  Came home, got some more work done.  Spent the evening with my girls and watched a movie, Center Stage.  Had flashbacks of being in ballet with the arousing sound of the piano as the dancers warmed up at the bars.  Makes me want to dance again.

Saturday

Went grocery shopping, did some laundry, got some work done and ate a croissant ham sandwich for lunch.  Went to the mall to use my dad’s gift certificate he gave me for Christmas on a pedicure.  Got a new pair of grey knee-high boots, a couple tops and a pair of earrings.  Came home, spent another evening with my girls.  Watched an episode of Dexter. 

Today

 

Woke up, had another meeting with content providers at work.  Got ready for church.  Discovered that the van wasn’t starting so my mom had to come pick Laura, Emmy and myself up.  Came home, watched Superman II, gave Laura a hard time for blushing when Superman smiles at her at the end.  Had my mom  come get Laura and Emmy so I could get some work done.  Finally got the van started, finished three hours of work.  Went to the store to get dinner, ended up getting chips.  Came home, finally took down the Christmas tree, vacuumed up the living room.  Girls came home, I gave them a bath, made their beds, folded the laundry and started a load for Laura’s pants tomorrow. 

Now I’m blogging about my day and trying not to cry over the fact that my girls might be living two hours away from me.